If you don’t know about the FOTA, or the Fluffers of the Apocalypse, they are the dire warnings of the coming of the coming of the End Times. They’ve begun to show their greasy heads, donned in backwards, dirty, ill fitting baseball caps and wearing insect-like oversized sunglasses. They’ve been driving down the streets in pink Mary Kay hummers, their Abercrombie sweaters lint free and reeking of Axe body spray. They’ve been running major media corporations and giving massive coverage to other FOTÆ for showing their gonorrhea-puss dripping lady parts after a night of free drinks at trendy douchecothèques while completely ignoring a god-damn war in which actual people are being maimed and dying.So, I document them here for you, to let you know that the end is getting kind of close, at the very least a little closer than it was a century or three ago.”
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